Let's start this post with a disclaimer? Okay. This post is going to be very very long. Or at least I think it would be very very long. And over the whole course of this post, it's going to gradually become..gloomier, and gloomier.

I don't know how many people come anymore, I don't know how many people who come read my post anymore. And I don't know how many who come read my post actually reads the whole thing. But, maybe it's best as little people read, maybe.

The dentist. Yes, the dentist. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would turn out. Uh, yeah, so it was an Xinmin Primary. And no one seem to be at the dentist. I still got my teeth checked at 11:40am. Hmm, when the dentist asked me what primary school I was from, I answered "Rosyth". Which sort of triggered a lot of memories. Which explains why I sms-ed LEEE! something. Which she should be reading this post now, and get organising already! Every single equipment in the dentist's looked(and probably felt) like they could kill. My teeth were sort of, as the dentist say "quite okay". But my gums "needed more attention". Which I sort of agreed. I always hated the dentist's, but this one turned out quite fine. Although the fact that there was still pain. And realised I was gripping the chair throughout.

After that, my teeth seem to taste so bloody, and so dentist-like. So, I went to buy bubble tea(is that legal?)! And after drinking several gulps down, there's still a kind of bloody feeling. And taste so floss-like. Not the pork floss kinda floss, you know? And that's not good. Still, I'm happy I don't have to go to the dentist next year and only in 2010!! And on the bus, my mouth still felt dentist-like. And also when I had lunch.

And it was pretty rushed after that. Had to really rush to Stephanie's house to do literature and English project. It's like the third time we met for two projects? It's like we've been editing the newsletter over and over again. And I don't even think I did anything for recounts. I'm not going to blog too much about this.

So, I really requested to go home earlier because partly I had to go home for dinner, and another part because I am really really very tired and demoralised. Although I'm not that tired, but still as demoralised.

I spent 1 hour and 15 minutes on the bus today! Which is seriously bad! Really, I cannot do anything on the bus. I wanted to read, but I'd get carsick. So, there really isn't anything to do. Other than sit there, stare into blank space, and think. Which is bad. Thinking makes you have many things to post on the blog, and really demoralises you.

So, today is actually a day I realised quite a lot of stuff.

I realised I pretty much missed Rosyth. Although before I left Rosyth, I was thinking that it was impossible to miss a non-living thing. Come to think about it, it's living with all the people inside. All the people in 503'06/603'07. I realised I didn't belong to 102'08 as much as 603'07. And this paragraph serves as another purpose! Look below!

"Calling all 503'06/603'07 people! Please go to Amanda Lee's blog right now, and when I mean right now, I mean right this instance! To see the latest update on something that's going to happen! And if you don't see anything, then you shall spam her tagboard, until she has no choice, but to post!! Hurry, expires this Friday. Serious, you know? If all else fails, spam her mailbox, her e-mail, or just call her, sms her, msn her, or burn her house down."

I realised that I'm a useless person. And probably I started causing so much hurt to the people around me. And, really, I saw this on Kailin's blog, and I shall pose this question. If, I disappear from the face of this Earth all of the sudden, would anyone notice? I guess, really, not many would.

I realised I could have made a wrong decision. I realised, if I were indeed to be useless, I have made a grave decision. Or perhaps I should have noticed it was wrong and the very start. Actually, I have. But didn't choose to care.

I realised that, maybe, just maybe, I should stop. I should stop. And perhaps that would be better, for some people. Maybe I shouldn't hold on. Because that's not what it's about, is it?

And, day by day, I realise I can no longer do anything about everything, I want to cry out so much. I don't want to cause so much hurt already, but yet I still want to continue, or more appropriately still need to continue.

And because I can't do much anymore, I feel some sort of useless. I feel it's not right. I can sense happiness there, but at the same time, I might be oversensitive- I sense disappointment.

I should really end this post soon. I have no mood to really post what I had wanted to post. So I'd just end somewhere around here. I'd just end here, and might post when I get back into the mood.

Realisation, byebye.